Choose Joy

I will preface this post with the indication that I clearly do not have a future as a professional blogger, considering my inability to keep up with such a hobby..
A lot has happened since my last post. A summer ended, and an entire semester has almost passed. I have been overwhelmed with school and social life, as well as the inability to prioritize my time. This semester, especially recently, I have found myself in a spiritual draught. As a result, I have been looking to many different things to satisfy the thirst that can only be quenched through the life waters of the One who leads me in the ways of His righteousness. Today, however, I have found a renewed encouragement in my faith and my Savior. I experienced a new level of accountability that has been lacking in my life for a while. This encouragement and accountability has led to renewed joy and assurance that my God holds my life in his hands and continues to pursue me always, even when I fail to reciprocate his faithfulness. I feel compelled to share this joy and encourage others through the love of my Savior. We serve a God who is continuously merciful and answers our prayers, despite the amount of time and effort we expend in running from Him. I hope that through this, we will all be spiritually renewed in knowing that we are never forsaken.

"But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain." Psalm 3: 3-4

Being A Hepburn In A Cyrus World: A How To

Class and pretentiousness are not synonymous.

1. Choose your fights as wisely as you apply your lipstick

2. Be hygienic

3. Brush your hair

4. Keep your legs crossed and your lips glossed

5. Do not confuse "classy" and "sassy"

6. Read

7. Say please and thank you 

8. Surround yourself with polite and encouraging people

9. Value your virtues

10. Smile 

11. Be polite

12. Don't swear

13. True beauty is found in modesty

14. Maintain good posture and great confidence

15. Take pride in your education

16. Think before you speak

17. Intelligence is key

18. Show forgiveness

19. Be humble 

20. Stay updated with current events

21. Perfect any look with pearls

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Coco Chanel

My Scarlet Letter

Many who have not read Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter are still considerably familiar with the novel's plot. The Scarlet Letter tells the story of main character Hester Prynne, who struggles to rebuild her life and dignity after committing adultery. As a consequence of her sinful act, Hester is forced to bear a scarlet "A" on her breast so that everyone might know who she is and what she did. Although we no longer live in the reformative world of the 1800's, our society today is filled with comparably similar, as well as new, struggles and temptations with which we are faced. I always jocularly tease my parents about how they lucked out with having me as a daughter. I am obedient. I make good grades. My education and my future are important to me. I have good morals, and I take my faith and my beliefs very serious. All in all, I am the daughter that I hope my parents always wanted. (I only mean that half sarcastically.) I do, however, struggle with sin. I struggle with temptation. I am definitely not perfect, and I even have my own scarlet letter:

W

My scarlet letter stands for want. I love clothes, shoes, and handbags. My dream job is to be a personal stylist or primary buyer for Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom's, Saks on Fifth Avenue, or somewhere of like sorts. (As for the time being, nursing will have to suffice!) I love fashion, especially designer. I have unhealthy obsessions with Kate Spade, J. Crew, and Anthropologie. Needless to say, I am a fashion junkie. Retail therapy is the most effective therapy. My mother always jokingly, though I think quite seriously, asks me where my want button is and how to turn it off. While I understand that I can't have everything, no matter how much I wish I could, I sometimes struggle with my ability to limit myself. 

Most people would not view my problem as sinful, but, as a follower of Christ, I know that I am held to such a degree that I might know my sin and not perpetuate such actions that hinder me from establishing a true relationship with the God who blesses me so affluently. A life lived for the glory of Christ is definitely a life worth living, and I hope to remain accountable for my actions so that all that I do is pleasing to the One who provides me with all that I truly need. The fundamental facet of wanting is that, no matter to what extent wants might be fulfilled, the satisfaction will always be temporal. The brevity of such satisfaction only leaves one empty and wanting more. Because I know that only true satisfaction is rooted in close communion with Christ, I will continue to hold true to the tenets of God's grace and atonement. 

"To do nothing is the way to be nothing." Nathaniel Hawthorne 

Beautifully Average

Thinking of reasons why not to write a blog is simple.
1. People won't read it.
2. I'm probably not a very good writer anyways.
3. Who cares?
As someone who perpetually over thinks everything, I have developed a talent for recognizing my flawed characteristics. I am not the smartest, the prettiest, or the most talented. I wish I could sing better. I wish I had the physique of Heidi or Gisele. I wish I could write a blog worth reading. I wish I had something to offer that was worth recognizing. Despite my constant struggle with overanalyzing my imperfections, I continue to work my hardest in striving toward perfection. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of sense, but there is a correlation.. My strategy for striving toward perfection has somehow developed into a surrendering of all at which I could potentially succeed in order to avoid failure. If I don't try, I can't fail. Thus, my enthymeme of perfection. This "strive toward perfection," however, has resulted in an overwhelming sense of averageness. As I look back on all of the opportunities I missed, I can only think "what if?". What if I hadn't quit? What if I had taken that chance? What if I had become somebody worth knowing? This mindset of desperation has led to many forlorn nights filled with guilt and self-reproach, yet I remain in a constant cycle of fearing rewarding, but arduous, endeavors, as well as inadequacy. The more I contest this antipathetic fear of perfection and inadequacy, the more I am willing and able to appreciate my sense of averageness. With the seemingly necessary need to be above average comes the obstacle of never being good enough. The societal standards for what constitutes "good enough" will never parallel those which we hold true ourselves, or at least those which I hold to be true. Because of this, I am beginning to find comfort in my "averageness." I find comfort in living my life in a way that is pleasing only to the God I serve and not to the world around me. I find pure joy in knowing that despite my sense of mediocrity, I exist because of a God who sees me as His perfect and beautiful creation. I do not need to strive for perfection because I understand that though I will not ever be perfect, I live for a God who is. Because of this truth, I am cognizant of a certain beauty and humility in all that seems average.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." Marilyn Monroe